Tu Es Vita

I spent nearly a year living in a Benedictine monastery. It was an incredible experience that taught me many things, some of which I share on this blog. One of the most memorable lessons from that time was on the importance of silence. 

St. Benedict has a high regard for silence and dedicates an entire chapter of the Rule to this topic, although he mentions it in several other sections. The monks are to speak sparingly and only when necessary. In fact, talking should generally be prohibited in the monastery even among the most virtuous monks. No talking during meals. No talking to guests. No talking after Compline. St. Benedict makes his point clear in a myriad of different ways. 

To make community life possible, monastics invented their own sign language to substitute verbal communication. These signs come in handy for many everyday, simple instructions, such as “turn off the light”, “close the door”, “pass the salt”, etc. For more lengthy communications, writing can sometimes suffice. A well-written note left on the refectory table or inside a monk’s cell may be enough to alert the community to schedule changes or make special requests.  

Despite all of this, it can be difficult to cut out all verbal communication. Life is full of unexpected difficulties, small queries, and simple misunderstandings that must often be dealt with by simply speaking about them. The monk has to learn the fine and difficult art of knowing when to speak and when to be quiet. He must learn to make his speech as simple as possible to get his meaning across without too much verbiage. 

I found this to be very challenging. Sometimes I disturbed my superior or other sisters with things that I could have resolved on my own or talked about during recreation. When I did speak about necessary things, I would sometimes prolong the conversation on unrelated topics, or simply throw in unneeded comments or explanations. 

When I made my examen, I would often single out these episodes of unnecessary talking and make a firm resolution to do better. But somehow, despite my best efforts, I often found that upon examining my conscience “too much talking” was almost always in first place. 

I found this frustrating, mostly because it showed me that I did not have the degree of self-control I thought I had. In fact, I discovered I was much more talkative than I believed myself to be. They say you don’t know just what you have until it’s gone. Well, you don’t know how addicted you are to talking until you try to keep silent. 

I say “addicted” because I think talking can become intoxicating. When compared with the steely edge of perfect silence, speaking can provide a rush of feel-good chemicals to the brain that distract the soul from difficult thoughts or emotions. It can also be a relief from the boredom that creeps into a very monotonous religious life. 

But it’s a temporary relief, a superficial coping mechanism. It’s also not good for us.  Ultimately, all the difficult things we find in the silence must be seen, understood, and dealt with appropriately. Avoidance, which is a form of sloth, leads to a wasted life and a ruined eternity. 

That is why silence is a great teacher. If we get familiar with it, it will reveal to us many things about our interior state and our progress in the spiritual path. 

For example, if we are habitually silent, we will begin to notice the kind of thoughts that most often come up and try to distract us. These thoughts can tell us a lot about our predominant vices and also any unresolved emotional issues from our past. If we understand these stumbling blocks, we will be better equipped to overcome them. 

Do you often find yourself bothered by thoughts about the little defects and faults of your neighbors? Are you tempted to contempt or anger towards them? This might reveal your need to work on growing in charity and patience. Perhaps you have a tendency to rash judgment that you need to overcome.  

Or are you rather beset by worries about your future? Are you overcome by doubts and anxiety about your job, your family, your health? This might be a sign that you need to grow in your confidence and trust in Divine Providence. 

Whatever it is, silence will help you see it. If we choose to heed its lessons instead of seeking distraction, silence will help us grow immensely. 

Silence also helps us avoid many sins that are committed through unfiltered speech. This was one of St. Benedict’s chief aims in prescribing silence to the monks. In Chapter VI of the Rule, he stresses the fact that we must guard our tongue to preserve it from uttering evil words. Many saints were similarly concerned with avoiding too much talking for fear of falling into sin. 

I think anyone who has tried to avoid sins of the tongue can sympathize with this concern. It is simply easier to sin if we talk a lot. We get carried away in the heat of the moment and say things we shouldn’t. We rashly judge a neighbor, we say an unkind word, we utter some passing profanity. I can’t count the times I’ve said something inopportune only to regret it a moment later. 

Cultivating a habit of silence makes us more careful about our speech. It helps us reflect and weigh our words. If we consider silence to be important, we will think twice before breaking it. We will ask ourselves if what we want to say is really worth it. Most importantly, we will be able to judge more clearly whether it’s good and edifying or better left unsaid. 

Finally, silence is so important because it’s the doorway to conversation with God. 

It’s true that the Almighty sometimes communicates with us in marvelous, spectacular ways we cannot ignore. When God spoke to the Apostles on Mount Tabor, hidden in a luminous cloud, his voice thundered above them and they cowered in fear. I have experienced such displays of power in my own life, and I know how impressive and unforgettable they can be. 

But God more often speaks softly in the secret of our hearts. He prompts us delicately with His grace, knocking on the door of our conscience, asking our permission to visit us with His inspirations. If we are constantly distracted by noise and activity, we won’t be able to hear these delicate communications in our souls. 

Many saints retreated to the desert to hear God’s voice more clearly. They became comfortable with the stillness and silence of these places and made room for God’s visitation. And so He came to them. If we want to enter into greater intimacy with Our Lord, we must also retreat into the desert of a silent heart and wait for Him there. 

All of this to say that silence is so very precious in our spiritual life. My experience with monastic silence taught me so much that I can’t easily condense it into a few words. I’ve tried to share some of these lessons here, but there are many more. 

Despite the difficulties of making room for silence in our modern Western world, there are many small things we can do to make it a priority in our daily routines. I will go into ways we can do this in a future post. 

For now, I’d like to leave you with a few questions to ponder: 

• How much silence is there in your daily life? If the answer is “not much”, why is that? 
• Do you enjoy silence or does the idea of being silent for long make you uncomfortable? 
• Have you ever been on a silent retreat? If so, was it a positive experience? 

Answering these questions can help you reflect on your relationship with silence and set the stage for any changes you might want to make in your daily routine.